Autism brings so many challenges and unpredictable situations. You learn so much about the world through a child’s view if we just take the time to stop, listen and watch. One day while shopping with my son Luke he had grabbed the blueberry container and threw it on the floor and with my luck the container came open and blueberries went flying everywhere. It had already been a bad day, a day or worry, high anxiety with fear of what the future held.
Even though our diagnosis was almost 2 years ago it felt like yesterday that we found out that our baby had autism and that he might not ever speak again. At that very moment I felt all the loneliness, emptiness, and grief that comes with an autism diagnosis.
As I bent down to begin to pick them up, people were just going by stepping on them and as I saw the blueberries being crushed I started to cry. I felt as if those blueberries were my heart and soul. It seemed no matter how hard I tried to make everything right, to get the right doctor for my son, the right therapies, the right diet, nothing changed.
While I was picking them up I was screaming on the inside please someone help!!! Some people starred as why I did not scold my son, while others just went on about their business. Well I held back the tears and continued to pick them up then a gentleman and his son get down to help me.
In that moment I knew even in the midst of chaos someone is always there to lend a helping hand. The employee came over smiled and said we will clean this up, don’t you worry we got this. At that moment I knew that God was telling me not to worry, he has this in the palm of his hand. As I looked at Luke sitting in the shopping chart unaware of what had happened, he looked at me and smiled and said with his eyes “Mom it will be ok.” Your right everything will be ok. You pick yourself up and go on.
Tomorrow is another day, another day to shine, another day to try, another day to live and that is what keeps you going. Autism gives you the fight to go on, to not give up to keep the faith. The diagnosis is just a diagnosis it DOES NOT DEFINE YOUR CHILD!!!
